Ahhhh!

This should read like a tall tale: My dad was such an excellent role model, even the same action could teach me both what to do and what not to do.

That didn't come out nearly as well as I had planned, but nevermind. Among friends and family, my dad's work ethic was well known - feared, even. He thought nothing of putting in an 80-hour work week, then bringing home more work for the weekend. By osmosis, I too learned the value of a strong work ethic, and I too became adept at pushing myself to work harder and accomplish more.

At the same time, I recoiled from the example my father set. No, he did not ignore his family responsibilities, and no, I never felt unloved or neglected. Rather, I saw the toll that stress from overwork took on my dad - on his health, on his happiness - and I vowed never to punish myself in the same way. Plan #1: Don't be a lawyer. Plan #2: Pick a career that I'll love, that gives me summers off, that lets me travel a great deal, and that gives me a flexible schedule.

Silly Louis.

After having picked that lifestyle as a response to my dad's, I used the very same self-imposed pressure I shunned to get me into a good grad program. And now, I'm feeling the crunch again - generals, teaching, dissertation prospectus, and FELLOWSHIP APPLICATIONS!!!!!!!! Apparently ambition and laziness do not coexist peacefully.

Still, I'll try to have the best of all worlds. This month will be ridiculous, but after October 8 (2nd day of generals testing) and October 13 (Fulbright due date), things will calm down. And I will once again appreciate that my dad taught me the value of relaxation - however unintentionally.