Anecdotes

This weekend, I took the bus down to NYC to see friends and then the train to Princeton to see the new Triangle show. On the bus back to Boston, instead of reading, I spent the 4+ hours listening to my ipod, staring out the window, and thinking.  Naturally, I thought about my dad.

I remembered the day I got my "Yes!" letter from Princeton - it happened to be my dad's 51st birthday. Dad came home from work, and my mom told him to go see me in the office, where I was probably playing some computer game in celebration. As per our usual routine, he says, "Greetings, earth creature!" I say, "I got in to Princeton!" He says,

"Really!!??"

in a tone of voice that made it clear that he was genuinely surprised. He spent the next few minutes explaining himself: it's not that he thought I couldn't get in, he just thought I wouldn't get in. No offense meant, and I never took any from it. Dad knew not to take anything for granted.

I also thought about the parallel between my first day of college and a telephone conversation this past summer. I had moved in a week before the "first day" to go on a whitewater canoeing trip (freshman orientation/team-building type stuff). The day we got back from the trip was the first night of Rosh Hashanah, so I had to go right back home for services. My parents brought me back to campus the morning of the second day so we could attend services on campus and so I wouldn't miss any more orientation activities. This day, more than when my parents moved me in prior to the canoeing trip, provided that definitive moment when we "said goodbye," even though it would only be a matter of weeks until we saw each other again. 

The last thing my dad did was pull me aside - out of earshot for my mom - to tell me, "No matter what, you call your mother at least once a week. If you feel like going a month without talking to me, that's fine - but you call your mom."

This summer, after my mom had already (secretly) told me about dad's plan to have surgery, my dad formally asked me if I would come home. Normally it'd be a no-brainer, but my parents knew how stressed I was about generals, and at the time no one thought it'd be a serious thing. Still, I had already decided I would come home to take care of my dad for the first few days after the surgery. 

Once again, though, my dad wasn't taking anything for granted. He felt he had to apologize for taking me away from studying for generals, and justified his request this way: "I know you have a lot of studying to do, but I want you to come home at least the night before my surgery so you can be with your mom while I'm in the operating room. You can leave right after if you want, but I need you to sit with your mom at least for those few hours."

I don't know if he was just being chivalrous, or completely selfless, or if he simply didn't expect me to stay around and help him convalesce. But it felt just like that first day of college, and I hear him say "you call your mother" just about every day now. 

If anyone has any stories they'd like to share - especially ones I don't know - I'd love to hear them.